Waiting can really bring out the worst in people. I’m not very good at waiting, and this is proven by the fact that I am writing about this yet again (if you missed it, I first wrote about it here).
When I find myself in a situation where I have to wait, not only do I get impatient, but I tend to become more distracted and more emotional. I try to find ways to take away the discomfort that I feel, and more often than not, I end up spending my time on things that aren’t very important. Anything that will numb my “pain” quickly.
I know it’s the same for some people, but maybe the distractions and temporary solutions differ. Not all methods are bad, but they’re probably not the wisest ideas either.
The sad reality is that the distractions and temporary solutions never fully heal us or take away the discomfort, because the discomfort is there for a reason. I find that it usually serves as a warning signal–a sign that something needs to be checked.
When I find myself in a time of waiting, that’s when my enemies come out to play: my impatience, lack of focus, skewed perspectives, tendency to be overly anxious, even my selfishness and self-centeredness. All sorts of stuff come out during times like these, and when I do take the time to stop and really take a good look at myself, I am disgusted and frustrated, but at the end of the day, I am also grateful. The sooner these things come out, the sooner I am humbled, and the sooner I am more willing (and wanting!) to step aside and let God do His work in me. I can’t make all of these recurring or surfacing issues go away on my own, but He is able. I just wish I would remember this sooner, and run to Him first, instead of wasting my time on other things. *Sigh*
I like the way King David put it:
“Going through the motions doesn’t please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.”
-Psalm 51:16-17 (MSG)
Can you relate? What have you seen in the mirror lately?
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