When I don’t know what to write, it helps to go back to my old diaries and blogs. It’s kind of like a treasure hunt. There are lots of random stuff, there are lots of stuff that are better off staying hidden, but there are also a lot of memories, thoughts, and insights that are golden–they’re valuable to me because they’ve been part of my journey.
I came across this entry that I wrote on this same week in the year 2007 (the year I made my decision to make Jesus the Lord of my life), which I thought I’d share with you.
“The other night, while we were having a steady night (shopping, dinner, dessert), I caught myself silently watching the Rivermaya Bagong Liwanag finalists who were sitting across me. They seem like nice people…young, optimistic, passionate, excited, shy…
I was thinking about how much their lives have already changed in the last couple of months and how much the life of the winner is going to change after the results are announced this week. As we were leisurely strolling around the Ortigas area, trying to burn calories and pass the time, I asked where they thought they would be if they had never auditioned for the show. I don’t recall them giving a definite answer; I just remember that they mumbled stuff and we laughed about it, but I’m pretty sure that they never expected to be tagging along with a seemingly random group of strangers on a steady Friday night, some of which, they would only listen to over the radio or see on TV. As for me, well, I’m as random as it can get. Haha.
I, for one, had no idea at the start of the year, that this is what life would be like for me this year. It was a pleasant surprise, to say the least. So much has happened this year. I felt like I’ve been to the bottom and back. I’m pretty certain that I’m not the person I was back in January.
A friend and I were talking last week about life’s uncertainties…I had even blogged about it, too. He said something that this year really served to remind us all about uncertainty…and how it does lead to excitement once you’ve worked it out in your head. After all, he said, we did realize that things were ALWAYS uncertain, and its the people around us that really matter.
This brings me to a thought I’ve had for last couple of years. Before, I just wanted to go away. I wanted to go back to New York, where I felt that anything was possible. I used to think that if I stayed here, I could already predict the way my life was going to go. I could already predict the type of people I would meet. I had myself believing that life in Manila would be like being stuck at a dead end. I used to think that only I had control over my destiny, and that if I had made wrong choices, I would miss out, or I would delay what was meant for me.
I’m so grateful for this year, because this was the year that the blinders came off, my old beliefs were shattered, and my perspective changed. I realized just how limited my vision used to be.
There are exciting and great things ahead. I believe that. This year proved to me that God can change the unchangeable, reach the unreachable, and He can soften the hardest of hearts. He is the Master of Surprises—and boy oh boy, do I love surprises.”
I wrote that in 2007, and it’s still so relevant for me today. This year has been filled with wonderful surprises for me, and I am simply amazed and grateful. If you told me last year that I would go through all of what I’ve been through in the past 9/10 months, I probably would’ve just laughed. This was the year that I’ve traveled more than I have ever traveled in my life, a reality that I can only attribute to God and His crazy generosity. I met wonderful people and experienced incredible things. I was pressed and pushed out of my comfort zone and I’ve been through the desert and back. But every twist and turn was worth it.
What about you–did you think you’d be where you are today? How did God surprise you this year?